Velma: My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop My sister and I were headed straight for the top My sister and I eared a thou a week at least (Oh, sure) But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know, it's sad, of course, But a fact is still a fact And now all that remains Is the remains Of a perfect double act!
Roxie, do you know you are exactly the same size as my sister? Oh, you would fit in her wardrobe perfectly. Look, why don't I just show you some of the act, huh? Watch this. (She dances) Now, you have to imagine this with two people. It's swell with two people.
First I'd....(Drums!) Then she'd...(Saxophone!) Then we'd...(Together!) But I can't do it alone! Then she'd... Then I'd... Then we'd... But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "MEN," Yuk, yuk, yuk She'd say, "you're the cat's meow" Then we'd wow The crowd again When she'd go... I'd go... We'd go...
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar Whistled, stomped, and stamped on the floor Yelling, screaming, begging for more.
And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up. You ain't seen nothing yet!"
(She dances.) Ah, aha, yeah! But I simply cannot do it alone.
Well? What did ya think? Come on, you can say. (Roxie gives her raspberry.)
Velma: O.K. O.K. The first part can always be rewritten. But the second part was really nifty. Watch this!
Then she'd...(See, get it, right?) Then I'd...(Then I kick really high...) Then we'd... But I can't do it alone! She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?" I'd say, "ILL!" Did ya get that? She'd say, "turn your motor off!" I can hear 'em cheerin' still When she'd go... I'd go... We'd go...(Sideways!) And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brow To cheer the best attraction in town They really tore the balcony down
And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, O.K., we're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots!" And this...this we did in perfect unison. (She dances.) Cymbals crash crash crash Now, you've seen me goin' through it You can see there's nothin' to it But I simply cannot do it Alone!