Hey, Headmaster, what's the matter with you? Why're you always so serious, why so blue? All the kids in the school have seen you Being patient with the boys who fool you When you used to hit them with your ruler So independent too Hey, Headmaster, what's the matter with you?
There's a crisis rumoured in the school The boys have cut their hair short to look cool Examination time is drawing near Disintegration of the football team No one seems to want to play for real In classroom, club or pool Hey, Headmaster, what're you gonna do?
There's an invitation in the post To a reading party on the coast Pack your bags up, you old bibliophile Get together with your friends, who will Give you time to think and time to kill With independent hosts Hey, Headmaster, aren't you gonna go? Hey, Headmaster, aren't you gonna go?