Dash1: You will be turned into rainbows Everyone will be so happy! You'll be gone but that's okay, though. Hey, cheer up, it's not that crappy!
If you assume it your life goal to convert into a rainbow you'd dare not be disappointed once I stuff you into this hole!
This is where we take your taxes, where we make the weather wanted. We're not chemists so don't ask us how this method got so vaunted.
This job does not need a degree that is how they got stuck with me. I need this for healthcare, you see so I can afford therapy!
Surprise1: Meng, there's a good reason, but that don't tell them nothing.
Dash2: What do you mean? I need the friggin' health benefits.
Surprise1-2: That's it? What about the history?
Dash3: The history is that I'm not going back to eleven twenty-five an hour.
Dash4: Okay, I'll admit that they usually say you should do it for the love of the job and not the money, but the economy is rough right now and this is the best I could get.
Surprise2: You know what? Forget you! I'm gonna' explain it Losino style! Listen up kids!
Surprise3: Let's go back to a thousand years ago. Everything you know is owned by Celestia. The tiny blade of grass that fed on the sun. The tiny grasshopper that fed on the grass. The snake in the grass that fed on the grasshopper. And the holy evil government owned by Celestia.
All things trod beneath an iron hoof united, provided, divided by Celestia. All hailed humbly to the mighty god. Until one day
Then Came The War
Nightmare Moon swept from the sky lasers from her eyes and teeth like knives!
The power of our god was simply not enough to overcome her sister!
The one had sacrificed a piece of her mind to the dark gods for deeds unkind!
Hope seemed lost until the time that Celestia
developed a plan!
Pitch one power to retain the rest! Sacrifice in turn was the gist.
With so many what was one? This foul war must be done.
It must be something she could do without. A superfluous power she could leave out.
She purveyed them all and made her decision. She rested her choice, her prismatic precision.
No more rainbows was her decree! Equestria's ponies would pay this fee!
But petty politics sought another route! The electorate could not do without!
So the duty fell to the pegasi And when they found the solution they began to cry.
Oh no!
We can't procure pigments without grinding our youth into a fine mist of color, and that is the truth!
But our pleas for reprieve fell upon deaf ears! And the exit polls showed our greatest fears!
We must make rainbows there wasn't a choice! The boneheads and mud ponies smothered our voice!