What day is it today? Oh me oh my oh Tonight is Cinco de Mayo I hope I don’t end up sh**faced Down in some bayou With some stranger’s dirty mitts Feelin up my tits
See I’ve been drinkin a lot Since you’ve been gone The way that you left me Was so fuckin wrong It’s like you went on that tv show And gave me the gong
The gong show; remember? Oh yeah!
Two weeks notice would ‘ve been nice Could’ve thought about it Could’ve gotten some good advice I know in the end You’re gonna wanna be my motherf***in friend But right now I just wish you were dead
I wish you were dead With a hole in your head Your blood on the sidewalk oozing bright red Your body strapped down with a hundred thousand hand grenades You’re a really great dancer But I wish you had cancer Or maybe mouth and genital herpes is the answer How much better off the world would be If you had Hepatitis C
I know it sounds mean To say all this But I wish you had kidney stones So that it would hurt you real bad when you take a piss I wish, after all my words were spoken You’d fall from a tree and your legs would get broken
I’m really not kiddin I wish that you were no longer livin I wish you were not breathin And that the spirit from your body was leavin
I wish that satan would rise up from the earth With his firey red hands Rip you into two pieces And take you back down to hell Where you belong