Seems a downright shame . . . TODD: Shame? MRS. LOVETT: Seems an awful waste .. Such a nice plump frame Wot's-his-name Has...Had . ..Has... Nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift — Debts to be erased — Think of it as thrift, As a gift... If you get my drift.. . Seems an awful waste. I mean, With the price of meat what it is, When you get it, If you get it— TODD : Ah! MRS. LOVETT: Good, you got it. Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop. Business never better, using only Pussycats and toast. And a pussy's good for maybe six or Seven at the most. And I'm sure they can't compare As far as taste — TODD: Mrs. Lovett, What a charming notion, Eminently practical and yet Appropriate, as always. Mrs. Lovett ,How I've lived without you All these years I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable. How choice! How rare! MRS. LOVETT: Well, it does seem a Waste ... It's an idea ... Think about it... Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be coming for a shave Won't they? Think of All them Pies! TODD: For what's the sound of the world out there? MRS. LOVETT: What, Mr. Todd, What, Mr. Todd, What is that sound? TODD: Those crunching noises pervading the air? MRS. LOVETT: Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes, all around — TODD: It's man devouring man, my dear, And who are we To deny it in here? MRS. LOVETT: Then who are we To deny it in here? TODD: What is that? MRS. LOVETT: It's priest. Have a little priest. TODD: Is it really good? MRS. LOVETT: Sir, it's too good, At least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, So it's pretty fresh. TODD : Awful lot of fat. MRS. LOVETT: Only where it sat. TODD: Haven't you got poet Or something like that? MRS. LOVETT: No, you see the trouble with poet Is, how do you know it's Deceased? Try the priest. Lawyer's rather nice. TODD: If it's for a price. MRS. LOVETT: Order something else, though, to follow, Since no one should swallow It twice. TODD: Anything that's lean. MRS. LOVETT: Well, then, if you're British and loyal, You might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway, it's clean. Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been. TODD: Is that squire On the fire? MRS. LOVETT: Mercy no, sir, Look closer, You'll notice it's grocer. TODD: Looks thicker. More like vicar. MRS. LOVETT: No, it has to be grocer — it's green. TODD: The history of the world, my love — MRS. LOVETT: Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors ... TODD: — is those below serving those up above. MRS. LOVETT: Everybody shaves, So there should be plenty of flavors ... TODD: How gratifying for once to know — BOTH: — that those above will serve those down below! TODD : What is that? MRS. LOVETT: It's fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered With actual shepherd On top. And I've just begun. Here's the politician — so oily It's served with a doily — Have one. TODD: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run. MRS. LOVETT: Try the friar. Fried, it's drier. TODD: No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy. MRS. LOVETT: Then actor — That's compacter. TODD: Yes, and always arrives overdone. I'll come again when you Have JUDGE on the menu . . . Have charity toward the world, my pet. MRS. LOVETT: Yes, yes, I know, my love — TODD: We'll take the customers what we can get MRS. LOVETT: High-born and low, my love TODD: We'll not discriminate great from small No, we'll serve anyone — Meaning anyone — BOTH: And to anyone Anyone!!!