Well here’s a little story about a woman that I knew – It’s no allegory I guarantee it’s all quite true So I expect you to believe me though you won’t believe your ears Pay attention, listen up, though you may tremble with fear You see this woman that I spoke of had a quarrel with her lover; It seems she had discovered he’d been sleeping with another And it was on this very spot in June of 1987 That they fought and then he shot her and she died and went to heaven Or at least that’s what the priest said as he read the funeral rights But something strange was going on amongst the tombstones that night Just when everybody thought her immortal soul was saved We were all quite surprised to learn that she had risen from the grave.
She said “Aloha, I’m back, I’ve got some business to do. I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through But first I’ll pay a visit to a certain prison cell And see my cheating husband, and send him straight to hell.”
We were speechless as she left us to find the fiend she’d married Til someone said ‘she’s looking good for a girl who’s just been buried But you know we ought to stop her – should we call up the police?’ I said ‘she’s the living dead – they can do as they please.’ Besides, she was heading to the station house herself where her husband was awaiting trial in a holding cell The sergeant was surprised to see a corpse walk through the door But he said ‘sorry ma’am, visiting hours are 2-4’ She laughed and said ‘I’m dead, and I don’t have all day! So if you’d kindly stand aside and show me the way?’ And the sergeant said ‘of all right then – he’s in cell #6’ Besides, he thought, I really don’t get paid enough for this. He was sleeping on his cot when she came into the cell And ever since the murder he had not slept very well When he opened up his eyes at first he thought it was a dream But she began to speak before he had a chance to scream.
She said “Aloha, I’m back, I’ve got some business to do. I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through But first I’ll make you pay for your cheating and your lies – So honey, prepare to die.”
Now some say it was a heart attack, some say it was a stroke And some will say the whole thing was invented as a joke But I tell you, it’s a fact and it all happened right here - When he saw his undead wife, he simply died of fear.
She said “Aloha, I’m back, I’ve got some business to do. I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through But first I’ll pay a visit to a certain prison cell And see my cheating husband, and send him straight to hell.”