Asgardian prince so let me talk some sense into the Midgard haters who must think I’m dense no recompense for I’m here to usurp this and remind you that I’m burdened with a glorious purpose Ya it’s true I came here for the Tesseract to make you think ruling you was my plan of attack cut me some slack because that plan is wack all I ever really wanted was to get back into Asgard… is that so hard to see? I was scarred from being barred by my family Oh Thor you’re so big we must worship thee! With your golden locks making fan girls squee I am Loki, the weaver of lies so step back while I cut you down to size
Earth’s mightiest heroes? Avengers? Please. I played each of you with the greatest of ease. From your star spangled boy scout up to the head cheese let’s not forget I made Heimdall freeze and I decree, each of you I’ll subjugate to kneel before me is your natural state got a whole lot more than Shawarma up here on my plate so let me hear you sing it out if you can relate
Did you really think you’d stop me with a puny gag? I’m a trickster god, Hulk’s punching bag! I made the Widow fake a sniffle and Stark get jet lag give me more time I’ll make Thor’s pecs sag! I’m incredulous, ridiculous, never superfluous, always adventurous Hawkeye shot me in the face with an explosive arrow have you noticed how my cheek bones are Oh so narrow? Isn’t it apparent that I haven’t lost yet? The moral of the story is the Infinity Gauntlet. Ultimate power seems a pretty good outlet for my daddy issues and ultimate conquest recognize that I’m the perfect foe and it’s high time you understand my goals.
Natasha, I know you think you played me but this whole masquerade involves you having my babies Russian and Frost Giant blood oh so crazy Clint mooning over you doesn’t phase me I’m determined that you’re gonna wanna be my queen and absolute power is your ideal scene let’s blow up the world and get some ice cream you and I shipped is my ultimate dream!