Skipper's in the wardroom drinking gin, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) I don't mind knocking but I ain't going in, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) 'Jimmy's' laughing like a drain, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Been looking at m' 'comic cuts' again. (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft)
Chorus: Chicken on a raft on a Monday morning, oh what a terrible sight to see, 'Dabtoes' for'd and the Dustmen aft, sitting there picking at a 'chicken on a raft'. Hey -oh, chicken on a raft, Oy -oh, chicken on a raft. Hey -oh, chicken on a raft, Oy -oh, chicken on a raft.
They gave me the Middle and the Forenoon too, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) And now I'm pulling in the whaler's crew, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Seagulls wheeling overhead, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) I ought to be 'flogging' in a feather bed. (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft)
I had a little girl in 'Donny B', (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) And oh, she made a fool of me, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Her heart was like a Pusser's shower, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) From hot to cold in a quarter of an hour. (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft)
An Amazon girl lives in Dumfries, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) She only has kids in twos and threes, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Her sister lives in Maryhill, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) She says she won't but I think she will. (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft)
We kissed goodbye on the midnight bus, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) She didn't cry, she didn't fuss, (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Am I the man that she loves best? (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft) Or am I just a cuckoo in another man's nest? (Hey -oh, chicken on a raft)