I was ridin' my thumb out across the State A truck pulled up and hit them big air brakes Right outside of Abilene Met Big Bertha, the truck drivin' queen
She shook my hand and put her glove back on Jumped on the gears like a dog on a bone A wad of chaw tabacca bulgin' in her mouth Grabbed a handful of wheel and whipped that big truck South
Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen
At eighty miles an hour I was really gettin' scared It's hard to believe that she was still grabbin' gears The speedometer read a hundred and three She missed the stick and grabbed my knee
Well I closed my eyes, afraid to look Prayin' for the minute I'd come outta that truck She let out a howl and said, "Looky here, Shug I'm gonna knock the ears off the dog on the hood"
Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen
She had one arm against my chin Shoved so hard she cut off my wind She said, "Little fellah, I'm lookin' for a man And I'm gonna git him anyway that I can"
Then the truck started spittin' and it came to a stop I jumped to the ground and started yellin' for a cop Wanted him to save me from the lovin' charms Of this man-sized woman with man-sized arms
Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen
Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen Oh, Big Bertha, Bertha the truck drivin' queen